I was working the till at my local farm stand, line out the door and just me working (of course). I check out this old lady, and move on to the next person in line. Old lady's still standing there. "I'm sorry, ma'am," says I. "Can I get you something else?" "You're supposed to carry my bags to the car," she says. "I…

Ha ha ha! Well, I think it took awhile to actually process what had just happened. He was long gone before the lightbulb lit. Also, codependence.

Some commenters think they have valuable contributions to provide. This commenter, not so much.

I don't care how old someone gets, they start acting like this, they can go fuck themselves, as far as I'm concerned.

Your grandmother might literally have been the devil.

You know what's funny? There have been at least 50 comments about how great Dave's story was, and then 2-3 whiny dorks going on about how it was so long and boring and didn't, I guess, conform to the standards of their ADD-addled brains. If someone's only contribution to the conversation is to whine about how long…

Oh god, that story at the Japanese restaurant….oh god. I had a really similar experience at a Chinese restaurant once. It was my then-boyfriend's birthday, and his parents wanted to take us out to dinner. They let him pick the place, and he decided on this semi-upscale locally famous Chinese restaurant. This place has…

Had a friend whose boyfriend did the eat half a meal thing, then demanded a second dish in a Chinese takeout place as a replacement as the first was defective. His reasoning was that the dish had been prepared differently when he'd had it in a different restaurant. He threatened to call the Better Business Bureau. …

Dora was a saint. I can only hope she was well compensated for her efforts.

And that last story, I always wondered how the Church people/crowds could do such bad/evil things and reconcile that with their self holiness. When I worked in a library, my supervisor had put a book in a gallon size zip lock. It had come in…

Not quite the wasabi story above, but one day I was working from home when my father strolled by and spotted the wasabi peas I was absent-mindedly popping into my mouth (individually). He proceeded to grab a massive handful... and I managed to stop him only an instant before he-who-never-eats-spicy-food got a nuclear…

I knew a guy in college that latched on to my friend group. Immediately upon meeting him through my then boyfriend, he told me several stories in succession about how rich and cool he was. He told me how his family had a wing of their enormous house that was just an art gallery for their crazy expensive art. He went…

I've never worked in a restaurant, but recently, about 6 months ago or so, my CEO and I took our board of directors out for dinner prior to a board meeting. One of the board members asked about the pecan trout, and the waiter was totally clear - he said it was excellent but it was also not something he'd recommend to…

I remember the whole "old people that want you to have their orders memorized" thing. As if saying "a sausage biscuit and senior decaf" was going to shorten his life expectancy.

Yeesh. Lighten up, Francis.

I spent many years as a server and actually rather enjoyed it. (Thanks to having a miserable narcissist for a father, I rather excelled at meeting people's impossible needs.) A struggling single mom, it was a great way to have cash in my pocket. One day, however, said father came in for a meal. I waited on him hand…

That story about the Korean/Japanese place made me cringe. A few years back I had a flatmate who was bit of a dick but still charismatic enough to pull it off. But one day we went to this Thai place for a birthday or something and he got quite drunk. Ever noticed those little shrines some Thai places have? usually…

Did anyone else read Dave's spelling of cooky just like the dog (I think?) saying "cookie" in the Cookie Crisp commercials?

So by skimming it you missed the funny bits, then came here to say it wasn't funny. Good one!

You missed the best parts by skimming.

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