Coulda been worse. I clicked on the video assuming he said something deplorable in favor of the verdict. PROGRESS!

I come from an ethnic family, with lots of enforced touching, lots of enforced kissing of older people, lots of enforced kisses, and that's why I didn't object when my neighbor, and, on a separate occasion, his son,put their hands all over my private areas before I was even five. All because I was taught I'm supposed…

Not at all related to children, but I recently got a dog, and I've had several not so pleasant interactions when people reach down to pet my dog without asking. She's only a year old and has had barely any training (she's a rescue), and she's about 40 pounds and jumps on people when she's excited. She loves people so…

Her daughter isn't avoiding touch. Her daughter is touching on her terms. That sounds healthy to me.

Raise you hand if you think Carlos actually ATE the spaghetti and

I'm trying really hard to be happy for her, but I still can't stop my panicky, breathe-in-breathe-out, this-isn't-happening emotional Fukushima. Kalinda! Don't go! Cary needs you!

The article asked for bonkers.

At the time I couldn't form a coherent thought. I think I said, "OK. Bye." He was divorced six months later & crying on my VM about the huge mistake he made. Bullet dodged & I donated the dress.

My fiancé called to tell that he got married, as I sat on the bed, looking at my wedding gown.

Going up, my parents were were divorced and never communicated directly. I got bounced back and forth between them a lot. Always based on what my mom needed. Fuck my social life or grades or stability. If being a parent started to get too hard, she'd ship me off to live with my grandmother or father. She'd get lonely,…

Oh god, I know it. Dude seemed super-sophisticated to my naive self, and was genuinely gorgeous (he kind of ruined David Bowie for me because there is a distinct resemblance, and so now I can still listen to Bowie but can't watch anything with him without imagining him as a whiny manchild at best). But goddamn...

There was a guy I was into in between high school and college, but I knew that I was about to meet a ton of new people so I told him I didn't want to officially "date". Still, we basically talked as if we were dating. Then within a few weeks of getting to college I met someone that I really enjoyed being with, was in…

My abusive then-girlfriend (I'm a woman) was a month away from moving in with me when she told me that she was having "feelings" for someone else, a friend of hers. She said nothing had happened, but she was now doubting our relationship. Cue a month-long hellish ordeal where we break up, get back together, break up,…

Okay. So it's funny now, but at the time it was infuriating.

My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)

One day I overheard a girl yelling at a boy on the (pay)phone with the same name as my boyfriend. Being a one stoplight town, I was curious and asked her his last name. Turns out, she was yelling at her/my boyfriend. We hitchhiked to his house (with a super creepy dude) and upon knocking on the door, discovered he was…

The pathological liar ex (I have posted about him before) and I had a relationship built entirely on dancing, fights and sex. It took me forever to understand that he was cheating on me, and I accepted his increasingly wild stories about his "friend" who was just "really emotionally fragile right now" and who I kept…

Once had a girl in high school breakup with me via Word document saved on my family computer, circa 2002. It was saved in a folder she named "Read after Prom" that she created like 5 minutes before we left for the damn event.

This was not my proudest moment, but when I got dumped by a guy who had sworn eternal love just long enough to hook me and then stomp on my heart, I called a florist, had them cut the heads off a dozen long-stemmed roses and deliver the wrapped-with-a-ribbon box of stems to the asshole during a long business meeting…

My naive 18-year-old self wasn't the best at separating a guys interest in dating me with his interest in sleeping with me. I was also a virgin, or at least I was until I started hanging out with my manager from work. Since he was my manager, our hooking up was hush, hush.