This is crazy. A 2nd debate where the two candidates did not shake hands, a 3rd debate where they had to re-structure the entire family seating arrangement/entrances so that the two families didn’t have to shake hands, and now they all have to sit together and make fake-nice? Yikes.

“...all kidding aside, we all know about your credentials, and breadth of experience...” gets a YUGE laugh with BO not even trying, just going for the easy stuff! Never gets old I tell ya.

Here’s one I’ve been reworking:

And do it in that stilted, strange teleprompter reading voice of his where it sounds like he’s just saying individual words that his mind only occasionally is able to link together.

Hillary may be shitty at telling jokes, but she is a straight up gangster when it comes to sitting at a table chitchatting with someone she fucking hates. She was first lady! Trump however has spent his life paying people to keep frustrating situations as far from him as possible, and lashing out when he feels…

Trump, was not look happy being roasted by Obama, at the White House Correspondence dinner in 2011. It was savage and beautiful thing to watch. Enjoy!

I think she was positively delightful on that Australian show. I’ve rewatched that interview at least 10 times.

Donald doesn’t drink at all, and never has. His assholishness is always 100% stone-cold sober.

Yeah, but at least he isn’t actively working to make it so child rape victims (even ones who never set foot in a church) never get justice because then maybe his retirement palace might have one less wing.

Uhhh...Mitt Romney’s not funny either. I’m sure Clinton can memorize and deliver some mildly funny, mostly self-effacing jokes, just as well as Romney can.

Not surprising he uses toddler logic: I get what I want, the system is fair and untainted. I do not get what I want, NOFAIR NOFAIR NOFAIR!

Yeah. She isn’t comedian funny, but I do think she has some moments where she has wry, sharp humor. If she can get it to land right she might be fine. Honestly, just standing up and pointing to Donald would be enough of a roast. “I could roast him, but...do I need to?”

He gets huge laughs! Like when he says he respects women! HUGE LAUGH LINE!

Oh, she has the zingers ready, better believe it. Her timing is good, however, so she could most definitely pull it off. Let’s remember she’s a lawyer by training, if you set them loose they will go for the throat.

I can’t decide who is more likely  to grope someone inappropriately -- Trump or a Catholic church official.

From what you describe to his almost joyful embrace of the Church’s anti-homosexuality stance, to being sorta-kinda ok with GWB’s death penalty stance while condemning abortion as pure evil, Dolan is a world-class cocksneeze. I hope he and Trump choke each other unconscious.

The only way to roast Donald Trump is over an open fire.

Maybe someone can also roast that fucker Dolan, too. He is no better, Mr. I- will-spend-ungodly-(in all senses of the word) amounts-of-money-to-block-legislation-that-would-extend-the-statute-of-limitations-for-sex-abuse-survivors. NY has a surprisingly short SOL of just 5 years for both criminal and civil cases, and…

Everyone at their table:

Wow, this sounds like an unimaginably awkward even for everyone involved. I hope the Secret Service are ready in case Donald finally loses it.