Okay, blatant sexism aside, as the daughter of a master carpenter I have to say I laughed the hardest at "not having to use math," part. I watch my dad measure things out at LEAST twice before making the cut. Sometimes 3 times. That's WHY there's a popular saying that goes, "measure twice, cut once."

When I see a man drinking bourbon, I think—did this dude steal my bourbon?

"Man up, don't eat ice cream for your last meal, EAT SOME FUCKING BACON YOU PIECE OF SHIT."