Who wants to bet his opponent in real life was a tiny, bald, smiling wrinkled old Asian man? Because according to Rule One, they will always kick your ass.

yes. They should've ran out into the white out ice covered highway and just waved their arms. That wouldve been safe. There isn't much they could have done at that point.

I saw Insane Masturbatory Rampage open for Slayer in '92.

"What are you gonna do tonight, Stef?"

:pats on the head: There there... W..? Oh, sorry I didn't realize it was your eyebrow...

Wow, how blunt of her.

Hey you might want to rethink that.

Kill him? Why would I do that? I've done far worse, I've destroyed his family, his friends, and brought the leader of his kind to his knees before I threw him off of a balcony. I won't kill you goomba, because there's no need to. I've already destroyed you.
~Mario

I think there should be a term for omitting characters. It should be called "Coldhanded". Like "Man, Lady Stoneheart got coldhanded" or "Wow, they coldhanded Arianne?"

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

This is the waterslide-video equivalent of blue balls with its cameras facing every direction but the direction I wanted to see. If I wanted to watch two hairy dudes get wet, I would have opened an incognito tab.

Love the hushed Wimbledon style commentary. My word!

You're still failing to account for the paradox. By identifying B) 50% as the correct answer, you're still leaving yourself with a 25% probability of B) getting picked at random, which again makes A) + D) correct answers. If we leave the logical paradox unresolved we can reach an answer of 75%, meaning for the…

All right, cool. Since you don't seem to be using your driveway while you're at work, I'm just gonna let my buddy park there from 9-5 on weekdays. He's only paying me a finder's fee of $50/day. You've got better things to do than watch your property all day anyway. :)

After hitting an Elk crushed his Saab, one Canadian was faced with a choice — take a hopelessly long Greyhound bus ride home, or buy a $500 Audi and drive there. He made the right decision.

Not Luigi, but someone posted this on TAY the other day.

Hurry - Simulate in Kerbal so we can say we have tested options!

For everyone calling bullshit on SenseiMonkeyboy, try using the internet before making an ass of yourself. Google SenseiMonkeyboy > Find DeviantArt page with real name > Search real name > Find on LinkedIN > Works for Idea Planet > Google Idea Planet > Find attached image. Took like two minutes...

I did. And now no one invites me to parties anymore.