If she didn't have a sense of humor she couldn't have put up with Bill over the years.

Well I take offense at anyone who breezily mentions that they committed statutory rape. Especially on this site; that's a whole barrel of WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK going on there.

You mean I should stop writing to Colin Farrell and being open and honest about my sexual needs?

I would totally watch Angry Black Bachelor.

Well you know we hate Newt Gingrich too and it definitely isn't because he's pretty...

She got it in because she's rich and white and probably lives in some enclave and writes articles here and there and Vogue seems to think that when people like that go off the rails and do bizarre things, it makes them Deep and Interesting instead of fodder for Jerry Springer.

Because they sell mattresses, of course.

How are you at looking vaguely dangerous?

Not matter what I do I can't make my lip do that.

Or fishing! Or doing something folksy!

I thought it allowed them to try to fly to Dublin to propose to their boyfriends and inexplicably end up in Dingle with a bunch of uncharacteristically mean Irish people.

Yeah, it's not like it's completely unheard of to get married in Hawaii and only millionaires and Mormons can manage it.

Oddly, he was kind of a joke before but now suddenly it's edgy to like Chris Brown in spite of all the haterz! And I strongly suspect that Rihanna is being encouraged to do the "forgiveness" tour so that the record company can more easily capitalize on his new "bad boy" cred.

I'm going to say something startling but here goes. You can notice someone's attractiveness, you can even notice their body and think "damn, I'd hit that," without EVER MAKING IT KNOWN TO ANYONE ELSE. This requires you to look discreetly and briefly instead of leering and ogling. I've tried it and it works!

ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I'LL MOVE BACK TO THE ISLAND just stop making me cry with your soulful weepy seal music!

Hope this works.

I have had enormous arguments with people on the internets about this. My half Xanax didn't do the trick for my flight so I had to have a cocktail! Dude, what do you mean I should just ask my doctor about taking a whole one instead? You're just such a worrier!

They could make a kickass movie about Grace O'Malley.

Because Pixar films about talking toys have so much more historical precedent?

I don't know if he's a liar, but he shoudn't have his mask down in the middle of a surgery.