There’s always a few fools who will fight against their own self interests, thinking that if they line up next to their oppressors, they’ll be looked upon kindly and given relief. Isn’t that the entire battle plan of the GOP?

It’s weird but this year, my family and I have gone to the theater more than we have in a decade. All those superhero flicks and sci fi movies people say they’re tired of have been a motivating factor.

Hey, has anybody been allowed, officially, too the cookout this year? Grandma needs to know how much potato salad to make.

God, that transition from “Dad, why’d you get me a stupid stuffed animal?” to “I’m never letting this go.” Damn you. Thank you and damn you.

There’s gonna be a lot of emotions at the next few spin classes, especially when the instructor says “Hurry it up” but everyone of them hears the name of the devil himself: HARRIOT. Wailing and lamentations will ensue, set to some 21 Pilots or Chainsmokers song.

This article will feed Clapback Mailbag pieces for months! There will be a sobbing becky in every Ugg boot! A cavalcade of unhinged rants from every Brad with an email account! At least one Black Republican performing an Olympic-level shuck & jive floor routine! IT’S GONNA BE GREAT!

IF (and that’s a big IF) Dotard Tinyhands gets an invite, they should seat him right next to Princess Mikey…

And it’s always good to remind her of this fact in the pettiest ways possible.

Bitch knew exactly what she was doing. That’s the face of someone who thinks they are so slick and then wants to play the “who me?” game. I hope Harry and Meghan get royally petty and seat her way in the back of the venue come wedding day. They should instruct the photographer to catch every bad angle so that she…

Yes, if ONLY because it’s a great brown liquor delivery system.

If your family doesn’t have the following album in one form or another, please get your house in order. Stevie Wonder’s songs alone are worth the price.

If that granny was legit, it’d all be in brownies and cookies. That’s right, I’M CALLING SHENANIGANS!

She also had a small role in Future Man. Not bad.

This movie is a pleasure I never feel guilty about.

Brothers, communication is key. Your partner is the broadcast booth and if you’re doing it right, the color commentary will be wild & you’ll want to hit that instant replay from all angles. Just fucking listen to her ‘cause if her moans start to sound like the she’s at a Cleveland Browns game in the 4th, just head to…

The owner of my company lives high on the hog, with a second home in Cali, weekly golf trips and travel around the world. Every holiday, we get a turkey for Thanksgiving, a ham for Christmas & a raffle ticket at the Christmas party that could win me a TV but more than likely will net me a pair of ugly ass socks. The…

And now, we go to Shannon Sharpe for some insight.

If I had a production company, I’d want a script on my desk yesterday.

Ok, I’m from Washington, not far from the accident site. When protesters talk about disrupting trains, they set their protests at the ports (usually Olympia or Tacoma) before the trains can really get moving. Pouring concrete on the tracks would be, for them, the next step up from chaining themselves to the gates or…

“You got that report?”