Just ask them how they fix their chicken. If it starts with “well first you bring a pot of water to a boil”, then you know they’re white. 

Hey now - doesn’t everyone look to homeschooled twenty-one-year-olds for social advice? They’ve experienced so very, very much.

That shoe’s tongue looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle’s back.

This would have been 1000% better if they had just used real cats.

Oh cremini, it really pushes my buttons to hear that the president has a mushroom, because I’ve always thought he had no morels.

OMFG. Ten bucks says he’s now going to use that effing Presidential Alert thing to send us all dick picks to show us how big and presidential it is. 

This guy! This guy has a future in stand-up!

WHY THEY GOTTA BE LIGHT SKINEDED?

Well they wanted a show that portrayed trump supporters, and they sure as hell got that! Lol.

“There are aspects about this video that simply do not represent our organization.”

“Our sons, Track and Trig, and our lovely daughters, Chem, Bio, and Literature.”

Number 5 should be why does the chicken spot give you a single loaf of greasy wonder bread.

As usual, black women go hard in the paint.

But she is mixed....so I don’t get it. She’s black and white. She doesn’t have to dismiss either of her parents to make us happy.

I got two words: Chris Hemsworth a la Thor. I mean, I’m not normally attracted to blond hair and blue eyes, but if I was going to chose a white dude to bang like a screen door in a hurricane, it would be Chris Hemsworth

FALSE. I stand by the John Oliver version.

Dwight D. Eisenhower? I hardly know her!

I wigged out on Santa when I was like 2 1/2. Easter Bunny? My parents weren’t chancing that shit

Trump doesn’t KNOW Bannon? It’s like telling me that I don’t really know my clit.