I am going in! Got 2 packages awaiting my arrival in The States this weekend. On the top of my want-list and I’ll be damned damned damned(!) if I let a listeria-ridden stick stop me... from enjoying all 6 or 12 or however many of them there are. I fly 8 hours for this. 8 hours!!!

I drink coffee because I’m addicted and have to. So I just learned to love it black in the process of craving it.

Bring back The Love Boat! With special guest appearance by... The Norwalk Virus! And don’t forget pirates! It needs special guest appearances who board as pirates. Best episodes ever, not even Spelling himself could’ve come up with such entertainment: love, vomiting, intrigue, pirates in love, pirates vomiting, pirate…

It’s called “reckless eyeballing” and used to be a reason for lynching. My father grew up in Jim Crow Kentucky and used to talk about its everyday horrors. Black boys were NOT allowed to look at the white girls. They were just supposed to keep their eyes down. They would KILL them just for looking.

The Kardashians are interesting because they are unapologetically attracted to big black dudes. They f them on video, they underage date them, break up with them, find another big black dude, marry them, divorce them, they get another one, have kids with them, and get called nasty names for choosing to be with black…

Excessively drunk adults, fighting, gyrating, swearing....well there goes babies being allowed at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner.

So much privilege. Hard to believe Rachel Dolezal just gave that all up. I mean, you steal a car, lead the police on a chase, put your hands in your pockets, straighten your shirt and then get to finish your dance. When you’re white, you get to FINISH YOUR DANCE!

But if we were to all drop our descriptive last names like “Marc Homosexual Jewish Designer NY Jacobs”, then all of Napolean’s registry work would have been for naught. And we don’t want to piss off the ghost of Napolean in our dreams, do we Marc?

I’m a black feminist and I won’t see this movie in a theater because I’m afraid of getting shot by a white boy. Who’s also probably a mysoginist. And mad about his girlllllfriend.

“He also suggested that OTHER women avoid the design. “ - There, fixed that for ya.

Terrifying, that imagery. Perhaps his whole head has just morphed into a dick and all that fur is just there to hide it. He is now one enormous dick, perhaps?

That must’ve been written by my ex-husband. Miss me much? Who ELSE could be so crazy?

I’m going to need a map. I see a blue dress in front of me and I can’t figure out if it’s for a boy or a girl. Or am I in the pet section? Help!

Just don’t date this dude. Problem solved.

Dems for Trump. I’m a charter member. C’mon Reps, let him run! Let him rep you at your finest. Tell your mother’s what you REALLY think of women.

Brilliant! I was going to just steal Dick Berns straight out from under you but decided to go with Dick Hopper instead. You had me at 6% decrease.

Be poor.

That’s definitely doing *something*.

How come he gets to wear clothes - a coat even - when all the women who’ve graced the cover have to be 1/2 naked? Or less.

United? I’ve had horrible experiences with them splitting me up from my children. They simply do. not. care. Or was it Delta? Please name names here.