omg my calves could kill ACTUAL CALVES AS IN BB COWS so this calf shit is totz bull.

I can't wait to see the pictures of the police dragging those teens out of their mom's house and into a cop car.

LITERAL BEST MOM

This is f-ing comedy gold right here. COMEDY GOLD I TELL YOU!

I pray to GOD this is true

This mini Slayer has excellent taste in subway performer music.

P.S. This is how I imagine Book Gale.

ANDREW WE NEED TO HAVE A FUCKING TALK

Any Ayn Rand books on his bookshelf

That's a reasonable dealbreaker.

A bookcase full of Bret Easton Ellis and Chuck Palaniuk

People who snidely correct your use of the English language, doubly so when they're actually wrong. Anyone who mocks your childhood crushes.

If I were going for ancient classical plays, I'd pick Iphigenia at Aulis. Because that involves sacrificing a daughter.

My boyfriend and I are both outdoorsy people and love to go camping. We usually go quite a few times in the summer, but the absolute best is during the fall. The colors are beautiful, it's not too cold out yet, and there's less competition for camping spots.

No Antichrist? No celebrity Rapture gossip? (And as I've been spewing about all over the internet, he's going to go bang some chick at at U2 concert?? You had to drag them into this? WHAT HAPPENS AT THAT U2 CONCERT WHEN THE RAPTURE HAPPENS? Actually, Jesus comes down in his flaming Warrior Christ chariot and yells,…