It fills both the “Castle”-shaped AND “Reaper”-shaped holes in my life.

That trick-or-treat episode made my cold, dark heart crack open.

Adding my vote to the “it was clear that threesome was never, ever, ever going to happen” crowd.

Oh, sweet cheeks, we ALL want a 9-to-5 job where we are treated like human beings.

The Princess Bride synopsis: A beautiful woman must choose between her wealthy fiance and the poor boy she loved as a girl.

I wanted more yelling. Movies like this are improved by yelling, imo.

They made Captain America a Nazi...and they think they have a “diversity” problem?

Figures, because I was just about to check this out over spring break.

Yep. This simile needs to be retired: There is almost nothing about running a business that translates directly into running a government.

Oof. Very sorry you feel that way, but it seems like a reasonable reaction, to our shame.

Actually, United offers 3o inches in economy class on its single-aisle airplanes, according to numbers provided to CNN by the airlines and updated in January. That’s less than everyone but Spirit (28 inches).

And school dress codes are often stupid, sexist and unevenly enforced. My kid’s school had a “no spaghetti straps” rule for K-6: Who does that impact, and what good does it do?

United offers less leg room than almost any other major carrier. If they don’t want people wearing leggings, maybe give them enough room to sit comfortably in more-formal clothes?

For Northern Californians, our hatred of Texas takes a back seat to our hatred of everything south of Santa Barbara.

This turned out to be a subtweet aimed at Ryan, who Judge Jeanine said has to go.

Actual lyrics:

There are a lot of different green teas with a lot of different characteristics; which are you trying?

Six months ago, I had no opinion at all about CPB and I thought ICE agents were just trying to reasonably enforce our messed-up immigration laws.

He was better prepared, too.

Look, Alefantis’s life and business have been ruined by this completely unfounded rumor, which even now Jones is attempting to keep on a respirator. (“He said he relied on two reporters who are gone - probably Clinton victims!”)