Though we should be past this as a nation, watch these pictures only give fodder to the ignorant barbarians of our society. Seriously, Deadspin, what the fuck. This story only furthers the stereotype that there isn't shit to eat in Baltimore.

It's nice to know Luke Scott still cares about his former teammates.

If you were truly a terriblehuman, you would know that it is exprains.

Let's be honest, if it wasn't for celebrity tips, Deadspin probably wouldn't be a website.

So what you're saying is Carissa didn't explain it all?

Now, is the hot dick fuck bag available on the menu?

how long have you worked at Hooters?

Unfortunately, Marcus will only be able to pay out the 1k in assorted food stamps, glass bottles, and cereal box top clippings.

If Riley had his way, very few NFL safeties would be free.

Head Coach: I'm going to make you eat your words!

Riley Cooper: I'm so sorry about what I said, but you're not even the coach here anymore Mr. Reid!

Head Coach: Fine, more for me then! [begins eating pages from War and Peace]

"Good Job! Hit the showers!"

Not sure why they had any faith to begin with. You can always count on a Boggs to down a pitcher or two

not the worst moose knuckle sandwich i've seen.

Wolff Stansson approves.

"You lost it for me, Gunnar"

"You lost it for yourself."

There is no logic behind Aron relinquishing his Icelandic soccer identity.

Maybe because nobody cares about a random "joe" that was in a car crash? Your statement answers your own question. He was a young athlete involved in college sports. Therefore, Deadspin, a semi-sports coverage site, will cover this.

Te'o: Let's try swimming in the ocean.
Fluker: O....Ok....I think I'm ready.
Te'o: Just start swimming, and I'll tell you where to go.
Fluker: (Jumps into water)
Te'o: Now just swim to where that gull is, and come back!
Fluker: What gull?!?
Te'o: That gull floating right there, what are you, blind?!
Fluker: Wha...(gurgle)..…