“Becoming ugly” is a gift if you can manage it. I get a lot of shit for it from the people who knew me when I was a very sweet, endlessly polite and appeasing 16 and seem to think that that’s who I still should be, but it’s worth it. I even get a little thrill of satisfaction when I say something harshly true or…

This is so good. And mirrors so much of what I feel. Hopeless and angry and just so fucking full of rage at the class of men that I don’t know what to do with myself.

This was amazing. Thank you for writing!

I think the issue is more that Aimee is not in a long term relationship, has not been for a long time, and literally published a full article about that fact two days ago on this website. The article wasn’t directed at people like her, and her only comment about the CNN article appears to be how boring it sounds to…

The husband expects a thank you sex? WTF

The key is that you get to have sex when you want to (I am insanely jealous of that). For many couples, it doesn’t happen so organically anymore. I can’t have sex when I want to because my wife works full time, I work part time and go to law school, and we have a tween kiddo to cart here there and everywhere. We also…

This reminds me of a playgroup story from years ago. One of our moms was complaining about how Monday she returned home from a girl’s weekend, so her husband would expect thank you sex that night, Tuesday was his bday, so sex that night, and Wednesday was their “scheduled” day, and so he would want it that night. I…

Well, I’m not going as far as therapy (hey, I’ve had my own dry spell), but I was a bit surprised that a person who seems to WANTS sex but hasn’t had it in three years would subtly mock those who want to schedule it.

Yeaaaah, maybe not the right person to be writing articles about what people in long-term relationships should do with their sex lives.

I love the idea of cuddle dates. My husband struggles with performance anxiety and I haven’t suggested something like this worrying it may end up feeling forced and get him too much in his head. Cuddle dates though, that could be giving massages or making out or whatever. This is a great idea

In every relationship I’ve been in that lasted past the honeymoon phase, the sex life slowed down or even fizzled out. I can’t imagine what it’s like after a decade together and maybe a few kids. Besides, this isn’t new or revolutionary advice. Every relationship therapist ever tell couples ro shedule some…

UH AIMEE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Yeah, I don’t think there’s a problem with this at all. When you have a lot of shit to do, it’s so easy to just collapse in front of the TV at night and fall asleep instead of using that time to spend sexy time with your partner. Making a specific effort can be really rewarding.

I totally see your POV, Aimée. And this is an easy subject to make fun of.

I’d say there’s some truth to the importance of scheduling. I’ve been banging my husband for 15 years. It’s marvelous, but between work & house & kids it is easy to forget how great sex can be when I just want to SIT ALONE ON THE COUCH FOR 5 GODDAMN MINUTES. We make ‘cuddle’ dates- no pressure to have sex, but we’re…

It seems to me that a long-term couple that has a lot of stuff going on could probably benefit from something like this. It isn’t a chore, it’s a reminder that you need to make time for your partner and to get into the idea of sex. It isn’t like you can only have sex during those times, but jump starting your sex…

Somthing I’ve been mulling over; at a certain point, if all democratic and legislative avenues close for the actual will of the people (gerrymandering, etc.), the only avenue left might be armed insurrection. So (speaking as a Canadian), it will be interesting if the Republicans do a 180 on gun control, because an…

Been saying this for a couple of weeks now. With the solid GOP majorities in so many state houses (even in traditionally purple states - thank you gerrymandering), it will be extremely important to watch how this plays out in two years.

I would expect to see a lot of GOP Governors face problems in 2018 as the country…

Oh, good, labial split pussy bows are back in fashion!