For real. I hope Ray Rice can change, but I also hope Janay doesn't stick around to see it. There are just some things in life that demand zero tolerance. Violence from an intimate partner is one of those things. If you don't get out after the first hit, it will only get harder (and more dangerous) with each…

I'm honestly just as afraid of guys who hit other guys as guys who hit women. If they do the former, a part of me will always suspect that someday they'll probably do the latter. I don't trust people who use their fists to sort out their anger.

As someone who was in an abusive relationship, this is spot on. I can imagine that the only comparison is addiction. It feels like you cannot physically live without the other person, even though they are literally hurting you. And the fact that you can't leave the person hurting you just makes you feel even worse…

I made a burner account to comment on this because I think this is one of the small but harmful ways that abuse gets dismissed, "The larger arc of their relationship doesn't fit the typical abusive relationship." The larger arc of my relationship didn't fit the typical abusive relationship, but that didn't prevent me…

I saw this post and brought it to my wife. I asked her to read the first 3 paragraphs. She couldn't stop and read until the conclusion. Your tone of "been there, done that" is what really caught my attention. I was struck by what you said. My wife, not so much. We have been married 17 years and I did not expect her…

Yes, I agree. A short while after I typed this I realized I shouldn't detract from the main point of the article. I unfortunately missed the edit time window. That's my fault.

You gotta say more than this. As a former prosecutor you know that huge numbers of women are killed when they are trying to get out. We need to help them get out safely.

Great article. I see other people have mentioned domestic abuse perpetrated on men and child abuse. All types of domestic abuse need constant awareness for the way they're under reported and under discussed.

But, as someone who knows and taught Janay Palmer-Rice and Ray Rice, I'm convinced that you're probably wrong to superimpose your template on them. (I am not currently close to either of them, though I know many who are.)

Every person who asks "why did she stay" needs to read http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/ and some literature on IPV, the majority of the time violence isn't the first instance of abuse.

yes, I'm sure they love being beaten and killed. Fuck you, you horse's ass.

People who are not scumbags do not hit the people they love. That's not just a little goof you make. That's indicative of the kind of person you are. No one on this earth who has ever laid a hand on their loved one is just some merely flawed person who made a little boo-boo. They are violent scum, and you're scum…

Doesn't matter if it's serial or not. He hit her so hard he knocked her out. He's a football player - an ATHLETE, for God's sake - with more muscle and strength than she'll ever have. He could have killed her. Saying "Well, he only did it once" doesn't cut it.

Off the top of my head, I can think of at least 5 different women I've known over the years who were physically abused by their partners. Of this group, two I'd actually seen attacked; one I only found out about after her husband died in a car crash and she went through a major confidence transformation; one was my…

I don't see how any of this matters. He might not have been an abusive boyfriend at one point, but he is now. And now this man, who clearly can't control his own anger, will be sitting at home with his wife, unemployed and despondent, and without the outlet of football into which to direct his energy. I wonder how…

I lived with my friend for two years, 1.5 of which she was in an abusive relationship, and while I knew her boyfriend was emotionally abusive and helped her get out, I didn't know he was physically abusive until well after their relationship, when she felt safe enough to tell me. I was in the house when he hit her…

First, I find that hard to believe based on the way he acted in the elevator. His body language is not what you would expect from someone who was shocked by what he had just done to his partner.

I just want to say how impressed I am by Deadspin's coverage of this whole thing. Just beyond impressed.

Bullshit. If he'd never hit her before, he would've reacted to the fact that he knocked her unconscious like, I don't know, a man who had never punched his girlfriend would react. Not stand there like it was nbd, kick her legs out of the way of the door, and then drag her around like a sack of fucking potatoes.

I had this discussion w/ some friends that were ranting about Rice the other day. Told them they should come sit through a TRO domestic violence calendar call anytime and they would see how prevalent this shit is (and how much worse most of it is). The worst part is how often women that filed don't even show up or…