Bullshit. Everyone knows that can't be real.

/puts down NL Central standings

"My God, what a hot piece of ass."

@ESPYS

Ha! Eat it Mo!

"See Boof, that's where the strike zone isn't"

"That genie's not fitting back in that bottle."

Not writing the alimony check sounds bad, but realistically, Flair hasn't been able to do his signature move for years.

Jim Ross: "Wait a minute... she reverses the hold... MAH GAWD SHE HAS HIM IN A 5-FIGURE LEG-LOCK!"

Who can fault him for this? It's just his nature, boy.

Judge: "Mr. Flair, you stand in contempt of court. How do you explain yourself?"

I believe that is Mariano Rivera talking to someone off camera.

...Bottom of the 6th and Citi Field Security lead the NL All*Stars in hits.

What a coincidence, I have a Dominican carrying my favorite team too.

Classic Double Leg takedown.

Great. Mike Francesa will spend three hours tomorrow trying to figure out if Jay-Z demanded that Cano do a "Cripple Walk" on national TV.

From the looks of it, Skylar is just happy to be there. As if America couldn't deal with another miscarriage of Justice.

Skylar Justice is hands-down the best of the early Steven Seagal flicks.

Alright LeBron James enough is enough STOP BRINGING SHANE TO THE GAME!

So what if I was drunk. I blocked for Dan Marino when he was on cocaine.

I can't believe people are getting so mad over this. I mean, there's meat stuffed in a too-tight, unnaturally-reddened casing, super-artificial, with the flavor of something that's been sitting around since, like, 1999... and if we can get over his call of the Derby every year, surely we can get over some ketchup on a…