Fuck.

@RaysBaseball's response:

Oh, come on, Tim— you know what @RedSox meant. There's no need to hit the clubs, get a little high, snort a homemade hallucinogen, urinate in a drive-thru window, get caught molesting a zoo elephant, offer oral sex to the arresting cop if he'll let you off, and— allegedly— jump down somebody's throat, buddy.

Them chess pieces are heavy.

Not that it's worth much. Your smart phone can now play better chess than any human. It's essentially a solved game.

Short answer: No.

I hear you, but 80-100 million would completely change the club, I think. That's real money that would attract talent. And no one's saying they should go get a 50 million-pound guy. But you're telling me you'd rather Tottenham roll with Bale than di Maria, Coentrao and two or three more 20 million-pound players?

I'm a Spurs fan and I love watching Bale do his thing, but you are absolutely right: transferring Bale for an overwhelming fee could fund a very quick, very effective rebuilding. Levy needs to take the deal before Real wakes up.

When I saw the headline about "Sprint" and "Crashes", I thought it was referring to the commonly occurring phenomenon that reiterates the fact that I need to switch to Verizon.

That's the People's Elbow. Do you even WWE, bro?

i dont know about his GPS, but his gaydar is certainly working.

Someone threw a beer at him. Someone else told him to "GET THE FUCK OUT." He left. It's on video.

Do we really have to do this?

Hey, some of us degenerates placed wagers on whether or not Tebow would be on a roster week 1. This is news.

The early results are closer that they're supposed to be.

This is JEOPARDY Payback!

@HeartRateRapid: You have to admit, though, that young Natalie Portman (ie "The Professional"/"Beautiful Girls" era) might have done a lot with this part.

@Gourmet Spud: +1