My cat is going to ignore the holes and sit on the computer. Because she's a cat.

oooh, lindt is good. My stepmom gets us See's Candy easter bunnies. those are pretty high quality.

Why is everything always about cannibalism with Christians?

A lot of it is genetics. All the injections in the world won't change your muscle structure. Refraining from making expressions can make your face muscles weak, which will only lead to your skin sagging sooner.

100 is the new 18! I am absolute shit at guessing people's ages. If you're between the age of 25 and 45, you most likely all look the same to me. I have looked the same since the age of 16—sure, I probably have some wrinkles and my ass is a little droopier, but I felt about 30 (in looks and spirit) when I was a teen…

Peepshi is fun to make, but way too much sugar to actually eat.

Peeps are not for eating. They are for microwaving. And bizarre art projects. Never heard of Peep Wars?

Missing out.

I've got a great job & short hair, and I'm freshly showered. May I smoke weed now?

I'm picturing holding up the baby Lion King style.

That can't be her real dress, right?

Holy *uc*. They are not going to need a ring bearer, they WILL need an ego bearer, however. Something along the lines of a goddamn elephant should do the trick.

Those two are so classy!

They gave themselves a PG-13 rating.

That was one of the most traumatizing culture shocks I experienced when I studied abroad in France. WHY IS THE MILK NOT IN THE REFRIGERATOR?! By the time got home, I was sad to not be in Europe anymore, but at least I got a nice, cold glass of milk to comfort me.

Yeah, I was a little worried it might be one of those "he's an employee of the restaurant, not the hotel" things. I don't know. I know small businesses have it rough and all but I still think it's grade-A bullshit that people who work for small businesses have so few rights.

am i the only commenter who is saying yes to New Daario?? old Daario was too Faabio for my tastes. New Daario is dirty-hot.

I wonder if there were pre-parents who said the same type of thing during the Golden Age of Radio: "I'm never going to let my child listen to that talky-box! It's only live storytelling in our home!"