This comment—and the idea that it's supposed to be a defense of selfies—makes me really sad.

Me too. We done got old.

Is he driving backwards?! Her hair is blowing the wrong way! Didn't anyone catch that? Also....are they having sex on a motorcycle?

Completely thought that video was fake. Thought Ellen was going to cut it off mid-horses running, eagle flying, fake motorcycle driving montage and say GOTCHA!

What in the Thomas Kinkade hell is that video?

This interview - and all of 1998 week on Vulture - is killing me. That was my last year of college and every single thing they're posting feels like yesterday and now I am thinking way too much about how long ago it all ways and I'm remembering feeling young and having so much fun but also am feeling very old. …

I figured that out after watching him in Apt 23. No one that comfortable with poking fun at himself could have anything less than a damn good sense of humor.

So... no one cares that the ending of Mockingjay was a complete narrative cop-out? We spend the entire book underground preparing for some vague rebellion and then when we're actually in the middle of this battle, Katniss gets knocked out and when she wakes up, presto! everything's fine! There was nothing in these…

Wow, I wish I'd thought of that before making a joke with that exact thing as the unstated punchline.

It just goes to show that people who comment on the internet are the lowest lowlifes out there.

Is that the doggy equivalent to bitchy resting face?

The bit where Penny takes a giant leap at the bed and doesn't make it!! Oh BLESS!

Okay, but only because you asked.

My rider:

First off, go down to a playground sometime and start taking pictures of random kids and see how long it takes before a cop walks up and asks just what the hell you're up to. Walk up to a lady on the street with her kids and start snapping pictures and getting all up in the kids' faces without permission, and see if…

It's not just you. Or I feel like I can't poop with the tampon in for some reason, like I'm out of room in my pelvis.

No, the absolute worst is when you feel that you need to drop everything and go to the toilet right this instant or you'll poop your pants and then sit there for half an hour unable to produce anything at all from your anus because it's just the cramps mascarading as peristalsis, and you can't get up either because it…

Don't go chasing waterfalls.

Why isn't Parker Posey a superstar? Epic fail, world.

WHERE IS JULIET LEWIS!?!?!?!?! Would have been perfection.