WAITING FOR THE ITALIAN OK: In other words, they need a "Hall Pass".

TSA ACRONYM: "Took Someone's Article"

NO PROBLEM: Wait a week for the cheap, Chinese knockoffs.

STOLEN IPADS: Had 5 iPads stolen off our loading dock. Contacted Apple to shutdown their MACS to deny their use with their App Store. Apple would NOT cooperate.

IN A NUTSHELL...What IS Instagram? If I'm not into Social Media, is it useful?

I use induction burners. They DO get hot, but that's from the heat from the bottom of the pot.

I LIKE HOW YOU THINK: "Will you marry me?"

Actually, if you shop BevMo, most boxed wine is fairly good and has been award winning, too.

IN OTHER WORDS: Consumerism run amok.

NOT A TRACTOR SIMULATOR: It's really a N. Korean flying simulator.

Clicker.TV? Cool. Here's a promote for the nice lead.

I DROPPED COMCAST TWO YEARS AGO: Comcast is rotten to their core. When I told them I was firing them, they offered to toss in internet for the SAME price. If they were so "honorable", why didn't they automatically perk me when I was a good customer.

FAST FOOD IS LIKE SLEEPING WITH A CHEAP WHORE: Feels good for 48 seconds, but afterwards you'll regret doing it. You always do.

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR: He pulls out a Penthouse magazine and has the SAME reaction.

IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE: Someone buys Nikon lenses to get the FREE Nutella lids.

READING BETWEEN THE LINES: Did you catch the part about how he predicted the internet would level the conventional porn industry? It was seen with that twitch in his left eye.

RADAR NOT A BRITISH INVENTION? Really?

As a fellow American (assuming you are) of 3/4 Chinese descent, thanks the good chuckle. The whole planet is going to hell. Let's party before it's all over!

Yep. I'm thinking of the maintenance, too. Good *@#king luck painting that high ceiling.

FREUD WOULD HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY: Eh, does anyone else see a vagina?