Wait 'til Santa finds out. Somebody is about to have the worse Xmas ever.

FAST FORWARD: Kid sends in Warranty Card and gets follow up offer to buy the matching bathtub waterboarding kit.

Just buy it back on Craig's List. Done.

Put's a sad meaning to "a Kodak moment". :(

(hands up in surrender)

Re-purpose this to read the subtle, emotional clues on your girlfriend's face THEN you'll have something.

(hands up in surrender)

For just US$19.95 become a sucker and name it after yourself.

COMPANY'S AD SLOGAN: "You don't know a Ting about phones."

Wasn't the virus transferred into the Iranian computers by casually dropping a USB thumb drive on the floor labeled "Cheerleaders Gone Wild"?

FUTURE NEWS: In an effort to make lemons into lemonade, Amazon renamed the Wifi feature to "WiMe?".

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR: Meanwhile, the Aflac Duck, who was riding shotgun in the F430, is expected to survive and is in traction at a local hospital.

It's like an aging fashion model that can still turn heads and cause guys to walk into light poles.

In future news, the drunk RIM execs have changed the company's name to RUM.

The localized version of this Toyota promo for Oakland, CA shows all sorts of "four letter words" on the outside of the car during a drive-by shooting.

Yep. It's called "repackaging"; just like the NEW Chrysler Corporation.

Sorry, guys. I'm unfamiliar with how to embed a YouTube video. WTF?!

You call THAT shredding?

You call THAT shredding?

BTW - Did you know your refrigerator uses MORE electricity when there are unsealed containers with liquids?