6. ONLY THE GOALIES CAN TOUCH THE BALL WITH THEIR HANDS

Derp

No one deserves to see this.

Enough of these pro athletes and their trophy wives already . . .

Very sad. When I heard that we'd lost a homer, I really hoped it was Hawk Harrelson.

But separated by safety glass.

5-11 here we come. Fuck this team.

I want to have a beer or be pan pals with zodiac motherfucker.

Jim Schwartz, 22-42 with the Lions and one postseason loss, 4-12 last year.

No the football team is shitty too.

I'll be honest...

It's a shame the prank punch wasn't utilized in Jonestown.

And yet, Brandon Weeden still managed to underthrow him repeatedly.

With a BMI of 927.6, he should probably be playing on the offensive line.

Actually, one-foot browns are a common occurrence in the Whitlock household.

Unfortunately, after the game, he drowned in the deep end of the pool named after him.

This sucks.

I have retired from Candy Crush to spend more time with my family.

I Choo Choo Chose to

That's unpossible.