Translation: Don’t be mad at me and tarnish my legacy!

bestest coffee milk there is :)

Fun fact: Statisitcally speaking, Americans are now more likely to be shot by a toddler than by a terrorist.

Yup. A shitty, dark post because I’m in a shitty, dark mood.

Fuck, that’s dark.

I’ve read all the reasons why people can legit forget their kids are in the car. Still don’t get it. I moved halfway across the country this summer and blasted across three states with hardly any stops (except overnight in a pet-friendly motel) because my two cats were with me. If I had to stop to rest/eat, I did it…

Do we know anything about this baby’s mother? Like, is she okay, relatively speaking? Is there anything we as the public can do for her?

I’m Chinese and grew up on an island, and I ain’t doing that unless I have to. Public floors are gross, people puke there and I don’t put anything there I can’t clean.

River is our daughter’s name! (She was named after River Tam from “Firefly”.)

I love the name River, and at least they used Rocket as a middle name.

Better?

It’s truly unnerving to me. like, i don’t get it.

Considering that the historical Saint Nicholas was born in what is now Turkey...I’m going with actually probably fairly brown and somewhat Asian-looking. People really don’t know shit about their own religion, do they?

No, he was Turkish.

Is there any reason she’s unmedicated on weekends? I imagine that, as a teen, it might be good for her to have that stability?

The actual, historical figure whom Santa Claus is based on, Saint Nicholas of Myra, was quite possibly what many would consider brown, not white. He was born in what is now Turkey, and depictions of him show him as fairly dark-skinned. He was most definitely NOT Western/Northern European-white, at least.

That guy aint white

It took you this long?

That was the past, man. You’re living in the present – 2016 – where the future moves backwards.

St Nicholas was a Moor. Moors were black. If anything all Santas should be black.