Best thing about Arnold stories is unfailingly hearing his voice in your head as you read his quotes.

Least surprising asshole by 1000 miles

Stupid sexy Schwarzenegger.

And to think, they’re not even the most empowered group of wizards in Washington.

The Rise and Fall of the Third Mic

... you are not the jolly fat man I was promised.

Finally, we get to see who voted for *&&Mxxx, MU#x—@@ to get in on the first ballot.. I have my sneaking suspicions it’s Gammons.

picked by, ahem. seasonal workers.

“Baseball, like all once proud American Institutions, has been thoroughly cucked as well”

And for the first time ever, Jim Irsay isn’t nearly as high as expected.

Melania can wear the FUCK out of a suit though.

Oh look! It’s Vincent Adultman, heading off to a long day at the business factory!

Not even just “There’s alien plankton on Europa” alien sightings. Aliens are going to have to show up and date a celebrity or something to top this.

That’s him? Wow, he must have bet his neck on the hard eight and lost.

Seems to me that based on your definition, you’re lumping a group of people who are rebelling against PC into the “asshole” category.

I HATE having to buy a new vacuum every year or two!

Or a clumsy proctologist

This is good advice. But it is hard to follow. Especially since I love drinks 3 and 4 most of all.