I had Miley Cyrus in my living room. I lived on a major tourist street in Philadelphia. It was very shortly after she cut her hair (maybe 2011 or 2012) I see someone standing near my door with a short blonde pixi cut. I think to myself “that girl has miley cyrus’s new hair cut” then she turned around and saw it was…

I have had what I would call supernatural experiences a few times in my life (thanks in no small part to spending a decade living on the oldest street in the country) but the encounters were not terribly exciting and certainly not scary. Fairly mundane stuff. However this year something happened that legit freaked me…

Overdrawn at the memory bank is probably my favorite episode ever. I mean come...as you are...to my mall...to my atrium yeah yeah. (Not to mention “I hope they don’t bungle or bobble the Fingle doppel”)

At least it wasn’t a stupid ant eater, amiright?

Try kratom. it is an herb (totally legal) you drink it as a tea and it is the most powerful pain releiver i have ever used (and I have a severe chronic pain condition) I can’t recommend it enough. Warning though, it tastes like rancid  ass.

It’s not behind his. It’s him, it’s his reflection.

Hopefully this will clear up the ape/monkey confusion. And if some smartypants says this is not accurate and I shouldn’t believe everything told by an anthropomorphic singing cucumber, well to you I say “Where is your sense of adventure”

My husband’s uncle died. His father was a “change of life” baby so his brother was about the age of my grandfather. The night before the funeral the son of the deceased (a man of about 50) went on my facebook and liked 23 of my “sexy” pictures on my modeling days. At 3am. I had honestly forgot they were even on there…

My grandmother in the 40s/50s. The irony is she was always on my case for looking “too sexy” and how embarrassing that was to her. I didn’t come across this photo until after she passed. Needless to say, if I catch her on the flip side we will be having words.

My grandfather bore a striking resemblance to Stephen Colbert.

I was always a nerd growing up (like so many of us) but I never felt bad about it. It was more comfortable than the drama that came with being popular. When I was about 10 a girl comes up to me with the patented mean girl smirk and said “Do you think you’re cool?” I thought about it for a second and said “I don’t…

My three year old daughter got this for Christmas. She played with it all day and then looks at me and says "That's not ice magic, that is just singing"

The otters were way into my son's toy. I am pretty sure they wouldn't return it.

The otters were way into my son's toy. I am pretty sure they wouldn't return it.

Enter into the competition: My selfie with Tywin Lannister

Try Sebastian Cellophane. I get mine on amazon. It is the best at refreshing red hair.

I was the Morton's Salt Girl

Jerry!

My first inclination was either she was winded from consensual sex or her lover spots her on the bed in her sexy underwear and is aroused and is about to start sex. I believe she is slumped over because the idea is the underwear is sexy, not her come hither glance or her long shiny hair. I'll be honest, after my…