I'm stealing your line.

I see what you did there.

I saw two episodes of this show once — one about White Castle and the other with NASCAR's front office. Both of them being clearly corporate shilling and manipulatively heart warming, but I could see why people who like schmaltz would watch it. WTF? Reading about this episode makes me think the network doesn't know…

As a life time horror fan — once considered (tongue in cheek) among the elite of the horror blogging community (back when there were a dozen of us) — I've always hated that Eli Roth is considered a horror director. What he does is torture porn. He is a torture pornographer, plain and simple.

As an orphan, I am available for adopting by wealthy parents. Granted, being 50 with three children, I may not be the typical adoptee. But really, I'll call every Sunday and Kanye (or other adoptive parent) can take me to basketball games and stuff. I don't want to be on TV but I promise to make my bed every morning…

3 at the same time is a party though.

The horror of being a beautiful model with the bone structure not quite the same as another beautiful model. Oh the humanity. I can't imagine that horror. I hide my beauty behind these mummy wrappings, but her perceived slightly less perfections are there for the whole world to see!

So does this mean she won't be reprising her role as Abigail Whistler in a Blade sequel or spin off anytime soon? Am I the only one who liked her character for a spin off series? Oh ... just me then.

In the end, necromancy is always my answer.

"thousands of dollars" ... fixt

I'm not allowed to sing in the shower! Wtf?!? They're normally great, well-mannered, well-behaved daughters. But there are lines they have drawn. No singing. No dancing in public. No skipping with them. And they lay these rules down in a tone of voice that does not brook dissent.

She makes me wish she were my grandmother instead of my real grandmother who took the coin collection my grandfather wanted me to have when he passed away when I was a kid and sold it to fund her trip to Vegas. Oh well, mine was still a hoot.

Old-school classics are classics for a reason.

I tried to flick the speck of dirt that was on my screen, but surprise, it was that thing he was wearing on his lip.

To be honest, I had the same reaction as she did the last time I looked in the mirror after shaving off my beard for the last time.

I was a moderator at OKCupid for a while and we'd see this kind of behavior all too often in flagged messages. Sometimes message exchanges would seem to be going well and then out of the blue, either because the man thought the woman didn't reply quickly enough to a message or because he couldn't keep up the…

DNA test the donut.

You said "hard" #beavis #butthead

I'm suddenly craving a REUBEN w/sauerkraut! #WhyIshouldn'treadbeforelunch

I turn 50 on Saturday and celebrate Father's Day with my daughters on Sunday so that's me this weekend.