Is that on Keyshawns car or Biebers car?

Staffer: Mr. Mayor, to save you some embarrassment, those are trick candles.

Last time a Cable snapped an assistant coach ended up with a broken jaw.

The 'busters love him, too.

The correct answer to this question was, "Antonio Cromartie."

In Philadelphia that's battery.

Apparently Crabtree's so old he actually played with Achilles.

Gorilla Monsoon is smiling at you, my friend.

Gotta be 'shopped - no Phillies fan would own something without a removable battery.

I bet he was confused because they were only Midway through the inning . . . .

Relax. He wasnt taking a dump. He was just cooling off his hemorrhoid flare up.

But if you have special players, and special players think that they know the best opportunity to win, you have to support them.

What those guys don’t realize is that Sterling has no plans to ever hire another Negro.

Wendy's Shift Supervisor: I know the phrase is "the customer is always right," but that guy is seriously always a pain in the ass. I mean, who asks to "hold the bacon" on a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger?! Just order a cheeseburger! How do you think the new hire is doing?

Janet's gonna be Fuhrious.

And he would give that Oscar to his Grammy, who raised him and his sister, Emmie.

After the game, Trout said a scary thing.

Or James Milner.

Stew ain't that slow, but he also ain't that good. So there's that. Unless, of course, we define good as being useless.

Rick Reilly's Actual 7th Grade English Teacher: Great work, Rick! Strong voice! I mean - "look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair" - where do you even come up with this stuff?!?!