Mining equipment manufacturing stocks crashed today following the news that all of the world's salt mines would cease operations. Analysts pointed towards a recent interview of Jason Vines by Car & Driver, which produced enough salt to meet worldwide demand for several centuries.

Attorney: Mr. Benson, your children Renee, Rita and Ryan have filed a lawsuit challenging the change in your will to leave the majority of your finances and holdings to your wife Gayle.

A Streetcar Named Depends.

Furthermore, upon information and belief, when Tom Benson was recent asked who the current president of the United States was, he replied that Ronald Reagan was the president.

I'm surprised it doesn't have PS. GAYLE DID NOT WRITE THIS LETTER, I DID at the bottom.

I love he is cutting them out of his life but signs it "father and grandfather." Very nice touch.

Pictured above: Current-future owner; current owner, former-future owner, future-future owner

Drew Brees: Real. Comfortable. Jeans.

• Importing a Japanese Car

Now allow me to ask the followup question on everyone's mind - Does the AC need a charge?

The Patriots get caught cheating and Deadspin writes 20 articles about how awful everyone else is.

Anybody else wondering how he had a ticket for the game?

"Next time, my friend... Next time"

List of injured:

The smallest bump is enough at that speed. The front lifts, you hit the side, and gone.

Oh please. If someone handed me even $10,000 when I was 21 there was no way I would have managed it correctly. And probably the first thing I would have done would have asked my dad "What would be the smart thing to do with this?" I think that in Hockey and Baseball and to a lesser extent Football we tend to forget…

I cannot even conceive of the greed necessary to attempt to steal everything your child has. And this goes a step further by stealing everything he has and a lot of stuff he doesn't have yet. Un-fucking-believable.

* He believes "Weird Al" Yankovic is a national treasure.

Fuck Craggs

- He's friends with Tom Scocca