Whoever wrote that headline

But did they ever wake him up!?

1.9 with aftermarket wheels and “modifications”... go find a 2.8L or 3.0 for the same price.

FTFY.

Instead of beads, an NFL official threw a flag for celebrating with a prop.

Hot take #3: The car was receiving death threats from the owner, so it faked its own death and is now in the witness protection program, probably 1,000 miles away on a Greyhound.

First kid comes in with Swag Level on Expert.

Let’s not throw stones. Who among us hasn’t overcooked it in that exact tunnel multiple times?

Congratulations, Jalopnik; We know.

- G. Carlson

Obamacare - not repealed.
ISIS - still not defeated.
Infrastructure - still crumbling.
Muslims - many not deported yet.
Taco trucks - popping up everywhere.

The failure list just goes on and on.

I was there, I didn’t know what happen and asked the cashier what happen after I ordered. She said she didn’t want to taco bout it....

Meanwhile, Olympic-level trolling inside:

Stop with the lies! This is the un-photoshopped picture

Yeah, French weapons are great. They have never been fired and only dropped once.

NFL doctors agree the two men are not suffering from concussions.

Jesus relax. I promise you there won’t be a nuclear holocaust in the next 4-8 years. If I’m wrong I’ll pay you a million dollars. Or if you prefer, 41,000 bottles of Crown Royal.

Front end was contained and yet the back still went for the nearest grouping of bystanders

Sounds like quite a St. Bonadventure.