Goddamn that cake. I wouldn't want to cut it.

I worked in the wedding industry for the better part of a decade, and this might be my favorite cake EVER. So pretty!

Oh my, that cake... ::swoon::

this article is lacking some pix

Flying on a plane with your period is just irresponsible. You want to attract flying bears? Because that’s how you attract flying bears.

Its none of your damn business what the family was doing. But it IS everyone's business to know what the hell our law enforcement is doing. I think its one of those things with serving or protecting citizens and they're funded by tax payers kinda shit.

Give me these eyebrows.

I know, I looked at that first sentence and thought, how about "I don't usually wear makeup at all, due to…" "…the fact that I am just naturally a perfect-looking human"?

I mean, technically the last dude’s cum I swallowed could have been a child but no one is accusing me of being a cannibal.

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Every time I see a headline that starts with “Pat Robertson,” I secretly hope that it will be followed by, “Dies in Bizarre Anal Sex Ritual.”

Givenchy Phenomen'eyes or Noir Couture! The wands are amazing.

Givenchy Phenomen'eyes or Noir Couture! The wands are amazing.

If abstinence-only education made teenagers have less sex and therefore get pregnant less and get fewer STIs, I would still be opposed to it on moral grounds (like, it's wrong to impose your morality on people in public schools, and it's wrong to make teenagers who are having sex feel bad about it.) But it doesn't…

Basically *I* (usually) think I'm pretty, but I just about always think that other people WON'T find me pretty. In other words, I usually think I'm gorgeous but simultaneously think that I'm not what men want to see/someone strangers will look at and find attractive.

My spirit animal, right there.

"specific economics aside, no matter what a couple asks for as a wedding gift, you should shut right the hell up and give it to them."

NO. NO. You can binge watch all the time. It's NOT SPECIAL.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL, PEOPLE! WE ARE AT DOUCHECON FIVE!

"satirically offensive religious imagery"

My husband hates me because of Laundry Mountain.