McConnell lashing his stringy turtle neck in helpless fury in front of a committee of Dems who have hated him for decades?

“Daddy, why do we celebrate Keanumas”

Actually breaking Twitter would be the best possible use of Keanu’s considerable power and the final notch I’d need to cast my vote for canonization. 

the NRA actually started as an organization that was responsible. most of the original laws about guns were because of the NRA. then lobbiests got their hooks in and the organization went sideways. now it’s laughable because they are just a shill for the ultra right wing

“The NHL Department of Player Safety, after carefully reviewing the evidence and considering the testimony of Mr. Barbashev, has determined that he does not wear a black and yellow uniform and can therefore safely be suspended one game.”

Whether going out for a meal or using it as a sex toy, this coin purse is only big enough for "just the tip."

“I’ve seen 42 million iterations of the future and this is the only one in which we win... well, there was one other one, but it involved squirrels...” 

I’m still convinced that Endgame would have been 110% better if Squirrel Girl had jumped in from out of nowhere to KO Thanos in one punch.

One of my favorite sports coincidences:

If (and that is a huge IF) he loses the next election, I forsee great difficulty in actually getting him to leave. He is not a sane person by any means, and will not believe he actually lost the election. I’ve never looked forward to, and feared, an election at the same time.

I’m not saying the world would be a better place if more Trump voters died of heatstroke, but the world would be a better place if more Trump voters died of heatstroke. 

The Sharks are in a really bad hole here.  It’s going to take everything in the referee’s power to bail them out the next two games.

Since all this is happening, I am here to confess a powerful, somewhat unexplainable, infatuation for Kristen Schall.

My first thought was, “Wow, her back legs must be really strong to pull off jumps like those.” And then I remembered humans only have one pair of legs

Maybe I’m looking at this the wrong way, but I see nothing wrong with a Norwegian gal willingly putting her butt up in the air. I think the world would be a better place if more women did this. This sport could ease pollution, solve famine, and end wars.

I told my husband a while ago that maybe we should seriously consider leaving the U.S. at some point. We could probably go to Israel (not my top pick), but we don’t really have transferable-skills (our legal fields aren’t relevant abroad) and immigration laws are tough. If I did have the chance to leave I would be…

Right about here is where I advocate an uprising and restore the power back to the people. The current administration is stripping citizens of their rights in the name of their god. Our democracy has failed and now is the time to fight to restore it. 

This is so crazy...
I really hope this will translate into sweeping democratic victories in every next elections you got, because we don’t have room in europe to welcome the solid half+ of you that’s not crazy and will have to leave if shit continues that way...

Coincidentally, the phrase “he felt it move when he tugged” is found in over 90% of Cap Thor slashfic. At the risk of ruining the innuendo with a relevant Joss Whedon reference, the hammer is his penis.