Just another example of the pussification of sports.

Hopefully not all $17,000 was spent at the crane machine.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

Man, what a great video. Well done yet again, Mr. Belichick.

Why the hell is this even news? It's 2013, for crying out loud.

I am no lawyer, but I am pretty confident that is totally legally binding. See the case of Grandma v Nigerian Prince.

Houston is the wrong city to live in if you don't like minorities. Fort Bend was recently crowned as the most ethnically diverse county in America.

I live in the Sugar Land area and there are tons of Jews here. Coincidentally, there is also a lot of money here.

Father: [places 100,000,000 peso bet on infant son]

I don't know why this makes him laugh so much, but I had a huge smile the entire time I listened to this.

Tots are not fries and you are the worst person the world has ever known.

...as it proves that Torii Hunter's tumble over the outfield wall is hilarious from any distance or angle.

"The number of booty that was grabbed was unreal,"

Well that certainly explains his very short career as a cancer radiologist.

You must be joking. I really hope you're joking. Are you joking?

My Yankees hatred is truly deep-seeded and probably chromosomal, but I cannot deny how sad of a day this is for baseball. We could only be so lucky to ever witness somebody as gifted and dominant as him take the mound again.

"I want the entire pool scrubbed, sterilized and disinfected." - Judge Smails

You're god damn right it is.

It's been well established that no true Astros fan would watch a Houston Astros team with a Designated Hitter on the roster. Astros fans are classy and old school. Also, there are only five of them.