Death March of the Penguins

When I’m feeling sad and down in the dumps I’ll just look for Ted Cruz in the news to feel better about myself again.

My buddy has a couple sugar gliders. Those things get pretty wild when they’re let out of their cage and and shred you up a bit with their little claws by accident running up and down you but all you can do is go “aw” as blood trickles down your arms.

Not a fan of Campbell or the Panthers, but ever since game one the calls have been real head scratchers. Don’t worry, Goodell, I’m making football moves while scratching my head and it hasn’t been forcible contact.

I’ve been just been blowing hot air on the lock for years now. Just need to be careful not to get stuck to it.

Tiny body or huge head? I can’t get beyond that part of the video.

Little late.

Part of me wants to make this my voicemail.

No Martin Shkreli? Come on, now.

Camera Man: “Hey, what are you doing over there?!”
Redshirt: “Uhhh, nutting.”

Better to be pissed off than a Piston.

2016 has some little hope remaining.

Something something burial ground.

Calm your nuts, it was about Josh Brown.

Must’ve felt pretty red in the face after a move like that. Trying to live up to his team’s nickname.

Refs be trippin’.

Headshot: let is slide
Toss football at a player: 15-yard penalty
Beat Up Wife: one game suspension
Marijuana For Pain: dead to us

There are other textures you can download for Minecraft that makes the game a bit prettier.

This guy doesn’t even own the most successful NHL team in Florida.

And he can kick all of our asses.