The window seat has the window. The aisle has extra elbow room. That’s why you pick either window or aisle. The middle seat is fucked.

I love the look on the black security guard’s face.

Yet another superb life decision from a young man whose lifespan is probably now measured in days.

Well, murder is illegal, so if someone kills this guy, someone else will see it and help the authorities with the investigation.

If the whistleblower knows their cover is about to be blown, can he or she step forward and claim the $50K?

Boy, they are just going to drive this “the real crime is the reporting of the crime” bus right off the cliff, aren’t they?

After this review, I might take a gander.

This is very timely as my dad was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease and I stand to inherit 1/3 of the value of a 2006 Buick Lucerne with barely more than 100,000 miles on it...

Miami THOUGHT they had their tanking game down. Giants are playing a whole other sport!

i did a dumb and got hurt and it's everyone's fault but mine!

“Antonio needs help, from his agent, from his manager, from his loved ones, from his doctors, and he’s not getting it.”

Good riddance, but if he wants to take Kraft and Roethlisberger with him, I wouldn’t object.

Yeah, I can’t beleive the Patriots pulled a fast one on a player who has burned bridges on two teams in less than nine months. 

In response, President Trump immediately deployed troops to a parking lot outside the Twitter compound and is currently awaiting further instruction from the Kingdom.

Right before it becomes useful, Google will cancel the project and assign the engineers to G+2.

What about controlling the birth rates where you live? 

Bet he didn’t see that coming.

I really hope no one is actually shot or harmed this weekend. The entire notion that “They can’t stop us all” is complete fallacy. Yes, they can, and yes they WILL.

Yup. They are the “condemned” doomed to die when the ice melts.

That’s ice they’re standing on.