I don’t think you messed up.

Tom it’s too late, I fucked up and bought a new Golf R

tough ask to find “downtime” during this administration

Sorry, but Pop is a goddamned national treasure. Nic Cage found a map to his house on the back of the Declaration of Independence.

This fuckin guy.

Someone REALLY likes Astons

His name? David Traski

They just pour them in.

As a person of Native decent it isn’t cultural appropriation at all, it is actually just a mistake and the name stuck. The settlers thought they were in India, and called the people they found Indians. Once they realized their mistake the name was already in place. It isn’t mean or degrading it is just a name. Stop…

Well, it is a fire hazard.

That was your takeaway from the article?

A buddy of mine used to drive a Kia Soul with the Scuderia Kia shields:

About 20 years ago my wife and I were shopping for a used station wagon. One of the important aspects was that it had to fit our tandem bicycle with the backseats down. One day we were looking at a used German wagon and I folded the backseats down to measure the cargo area. Flipping the seats forward, I found an…

OK, wait. While you’re absolutely correct that their positions in the car prove a single bullet fired from the sixth floor of the school book depository would create all the necessary wounds in a straight line path... Why in God’s name would the president’s limo contain a self-destruct device?

Once I was really, really bored, reading through some obscure abandoned websites.

BMW once made a car with working turn signals.

Someone invented a carburetor that would allow a car to get 100/200/whatever miles per gallon BUT THE GUBMINT DONE SQUARSHED IT!!

This is how we measure the number of years veteran NBA players have left in their career, by measuring their playoff mileage with a technical process known as “Larbon-dating.”

I really want to talk to the guy you interviewed who called it a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” Like, dude...have you even looked at the thing?

Maybe he thought the Ankle Monitor would have a “zeroing” method to adjust to his base BAC. Then when he was at .08, it would show -.32!!