Mr. No Fun over here.

Goodyear: “Your Honor, despite the fact that all the livestock have in fact left the barn, we would like to request that the barn door now be secured.”

I demand lengths be reported in cables or furlongs!

[Note: The Duke is the official name of the NFL game ball; Luck wasn’t asked if he was throwing John Wayne around.]

Raleigh instead of Charlotte?

This is an unbelievable post.

If it’s not a banana then why is this story still up you fucking hack? “Bottle thrown on field” isn’t exactly news. In the future maybe consider changing “Timothy Burke is Deadspin’s Video Director” in your about the author section to “Timothy Burke is a virtue signaling fucking imbecile”

it looks awfully banana-shaped (and banana-colored) to us.

Wait so you don’t know if it was actually a banana, but it’s yellow and about the same size so you’re going to publish an article calling the fans racist?

It really is a great meme

“Everyone at the National Tractor Pulling Champs in Ohio is exactly the shape you’d expect...”

I love every one of these types of videos. Motor explosions, transmissions calling it quits, I love it. However, I feel bad for the owners of the vehicles*, most of the time, because holy hell is that a very expensive paper weight now.

Obligatory:

I’m waiting for someone to use it for a dickbutt

Nah, this looks more like Phil’s work.

I’m almost 50 and these things have been around since my youth and we all knew what they were for (as kids we used to jump up and down on them to try and screw up the numbers, which I highly doubt worked).

You realize someone has to buy new cars, right? Otherwise there would be no cars.