Wow - sorry Cowboys and Bengals - you snooze, you lose! 

When you’re famous they’ll let you settle anything.

Still a million times better than any college basketball game.

Any time the gun-humpers retreat to the 2nd Amendment (ratified 227 years ago, by the way) to defend their fetish, I like to share the words of their favorite founding father, Thomas Jefferson:

Other than the No. 21 jersey and the packaging, there’s nothing about the doll that indicates it’s Sean Taylor.

The 2-9 Raiders aren’t going anywhere but down.

I love Tesla, but at this point, I’m much more apt to believe that Musk is saying whatever it takes make him look like a hero, rather than believe his words outright.

I know Gruden is bad, but to lump him with Gruden, Gruden, Gruden, Gruden, and Gruden?  That seems harsh.

Andy Dalton

“The trash store called...they’re running out of YOU!”

Professional football in Ohio is screwy as hell!

Crossing Jordan.

Fuck Jordan Rodgers in half with a Scottish caber. Good for Aaron Rodgers for trying to raise money for the victims of a horrible catastrophe, and double-good for him for cutting toxic people out of his life. One has zero to do with the other.

I’ve never been more excited to watch two people have to coexist as pallbearers.

“Yes, and once all the minutes are used up it’s very important to smash the phone.” - Tom Brady

It’s not Aaron’s fault. He lent Mike McCarthy his cell phone and the dude used up all the minutes. 

I’m not trying to logic you, Jordan my man, but it sounds like your mom had enough shit to take care of, without having to sweat answering the phone.
This is why you’ll always be the #2 son.

^This.

His fuck-up was not in not hustling, because do you know who else doesn’t run at full speed on every single play, every single sharp grounder to second, every can-of-corn pop-up to short center? Every major leaguer ever.

The Rams and Chiefs just played the greatest Monday Night Football game ever and the Deadspin recap managed to work in two shots at the Buffalo Bills.