Every time I see her I think "Stop trying to make Rita Ora happen. It's not going to happen."

Hey, Rita. Rhianna from three years ago called. She wants everything back.

Someone needs to make a gif of her rhythm-less flailing with "White People" across the bottom.

Wow dude. It's a little scratchy cardboard or plastic tube, not a big smooth vibrating phallus. C'mon now.

Nope. Not on board. I look down on Charles Manson, for instance. I'm not going to use broad stereotypes when I choose who to look down on, but not all actions are equally okay.

I'm not flat, and I was thinking I'd like it because every time I'm running I have to wear a big baggy t-shirt or I feel like my nipples are screaming "HI EVERYBODY! DO YOU THINK IT'S COLD? LOOK AT ME!"

This is my favorite post on Jezebel.

My ex left our marriage for a cunt named Daphne.
My favorite flowering bush is called daphne. I now call it whoreflower.

This tweet.

• to give him a reason wash that truck
  

I just wanted to say my Pinterest is almost entirely sexy vampire girls or Harley and Ivy pictures. Nonconformist here. <South Park goth kids>

Shit. I like to do the driving AND I don't go to church.

So are you saying...God didn't make me?

*flames appear*

God, those were awful. I refused to partake in that trend, and I think I can safely say I'm on the right side of history.

Remember when palazzo capri pants were super in? Let's not go there again

They make me feel like a normal sized person because over-the-knee boots become regular knee-high boots on super tall folk and it is glorious. Ditto to tunics being normal length shirts on us.

Everyone please continue to do your part in keeping overly long clothing styles popular. Thank you.

Ah yes, flare jeans. I love how easily they absorbed water off the street and became frayed at the heel.

sorry not sorry! I'm plus size but have great legs. Skinny jeans look great on me and everyone gets to see all my boots.

I kinda want to know about Drake's boner. Kinda.

"#MyAnacondaWasWayUp" No Drake. Please don't type things like that.

Uh if any of you obsessively pored over Drake's Instagram account, you would know that he posted stills from the video as well, captioned "Ayyyyyyyye @nickiminaj way way wayyyyyyy up. Def the best invite to a video shoot EVER. #ViewsFromMyChair #MyAnacondaWasWayUp".