And it'll be infinitely better.

Dutrow got everything that is coming to him. He's an ass and doesn't know how t train a horse except to stick a needle in it. He admitted on Big Brown's Belmont Day on live telvesion that he had no idea what the steriod did for the horse, but that he was going to take BB off it, not realizing that MAYBE the horse…

Oh FFS. Tell me, why is this girl more important than the four other children in the Philly area who need a lung transplant - and the 40-odd adults in PA? (Not to mention all the children and adults in need of transplant in the surrounding states.)

I don't give a crap unless they get Hank Aaron. Babe Ruth forever!

This just made my day. Right when I thought a Lifetime-Anna Nicole Smith hoo-ha had made it, this took the front seat.

Yeah, I can't believe this is a thing. Once I took our family cordless phone into the bathroom with me while putting on makeup, and I got absolutely destroyed by my parents. After the lecture on germs and social rules, I never pulled that again. I hear people all the time talking on their phones in the airport while…

Except you'll never be rid of the Flutie Pass. It will stay there, taunting you, every time you go shopping.

The Twinkie factory sadly closed to make room for luxury shopping and apartments/condos. It...it was the worst day ever.

Man, not to be pretentious, but nothing makes my head explode faster. As a vet, that 60 seconds is one of the only times Americans slow down for a second, take a breath, and *perhaps* think about the cost of being able to drink 7$ shitty beers. Can't agree with that.

I hope this outfit makes people forget my new movie sucks.

I went to a life-improvement seminar once, in Partridge, Kansas during the 1940s. Much of the advice they gave has become obsolete with the march of knowledge and technology. One piece of advice though, which was really the centerpiece of the seminar, has remained timeless.

They told us, "If you ever find yourself…

I would guess it's probably a good way to avoid friends making stupid drunk texts to your significant other, if you have friends who are prone to doing dumb stuff with your phone when they get a hold of it. But BrogansRun's comment makes more sense overall...

Here is a closer comparison: He is the inverse of Rick Reilley.

I mean, I actually think he DOES have talent, he's just not clear on where to place it, and he thinks his talent is a lot more versatile and significant than it really is.

In Bill Simmons's world, there must always be a unified theory that explains how and why everything happens. And that theory must be something dreamed up by Simmons, and Simmons alone. And that theory is NEVER wrong.

But see, it's not a mildly stupid thing he said. It's a TREMENDOUSLY stupid thing he said, and Drew is absolutely correct in his assessment that it shows how badly Simmons wants to seem like a superior thinker, and how horrifically out of his element he is in that regard.

You think you're funny.

I used to really like reading Simmons' writing, but a lot of what he writes now makes it harder and harder to take him seriously.

So, some hack wants me to screw up my relationship so he can get his rocks off and free material?

And before people opened burner accounts for the sole purpose of telling you to kill yourself. Ahh, the good ole days....