Something something condescension something something Ted Cruz is a toilet horse something something fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck. There. I have now gifted you with the most C.A. Pinkham sentence ever.

Well, my *husband* will live longer if I drink wine at dinner.

Because it's wrapping the entire thing and removing it would involve reaching in and grabbing the person's food. That's what fish en papillote IS; that's how it's fucking served.

hell are they franchising... I'm asking for myself.

Fixed.

Why? The students are the ones who would end up paying for that.

I didn't even bother to find secret spots. I used to sleep on the floor outside of classrooms for whatever class I waiting for.

I'd just get high and eat it. Then cry.

For nearly 25 years, my dad was the most widely-read syndicated medical columnist in America. He received over 2,000 letters every week from men, women, and teenagers from across the country and around the world asking for advice.

I've said this before here, but for those who have not read it:

My son came out to me yesterday.

He told me he's bisexual, and that he doesn't want to talk about the "male" part of his romantic interests. I said that there's nothing he could say that would shock or offend me. Then I told him that I won't berate him about it, but he's nuts if he thinks he gets some sort of pass on…

My sister turned bright orange as a baby, and after parental panicking and deciding she had bright orange cancer or something, it was determined she'd been eating too many strained carrots.

I have just realized that I am actually meant to be an author, but I don't plan on ever writing anything ever. I just wanted you to know that.

I'd love to see an entire season of The Bachelor or Bachelorette take place inside an IKEA. The whole time. Rose ceremonies and all. Instead of bottomless alcohol, bottomless swedish meatballs. Date nights would include things like putting together a Tarva 3-drawer chest and seeing who wants to kill each other first.

Once you hit 30 you have to start calling yourself a "gal".

Them's the rules, sorry.

long hair don't care.

"I can think of a whole lot of people in the midwest and southern US who would require a second seat." What a weird thing to say. There are obese and thin people all over the US.

She was probably younger than me (I didn't check her birth certificate). Therefore, I refer to her as a girl. I'm not going to argue about my use of that term for something so inconsequential.

1. Chocolate