If the other candidates want softballs, they can just go on Fox News.

He’s got a face that you WANT to want to punch, plus, you can’t help but think about the fact that he’d grab your ex on the rebound and convince her to have sex somewhere fairly uncomfortable, like the back seat of a volkswagon.

That bear looks Coachella as fuck

If this were a game of ‘guess which celebrity said this’, I would have totally gone with Ilana from Broad City.

Her kiss was on his list. Sorry, couldn’t stop my fingers.

I don’t remember black people being so shiny and vapid.

Truly terrible that a lady with a long history of mental illness who had just killed her baby couldn't do it again. Oh, the horrors

...yikes. I guess I'm sticking with New Zealand whites and Spanish reds then.

Charles Shaw is total undrinkable dreck

I done told you George that my name isn't Condi.

I've decided that my new extreme end payment, similar to all the tea in China is "All the Dicks in Glory Hole Canyon"

And again, North West had a WONDERFUL time at the shows. Hey 'parents', maybe your accessory has a better time at home with her nanny?

Stassa, I just want to say that I think you've been doing a great job and you've posted some really interesting articles. Any corrections or clarifications are usually up so quickly it's there before I've read it, and am then confused by the comments ("No, she definitely wrote that already..."). Keep up the good work!

They're wondering where their victims went.

Sorry, but I have to defend Dr. Oz. I worked with him a bit, and the guy practices what he preaches health-wise and is a renowned cardiologist who still performs hundreds of surgeries a year. He doesn't promote products that he doesn't believe in/see potential in- I'm not saying he's necessarily correct all the time,…

*approaches suavely* "Why hello there, cupcake. I couldn't help noticing that you're not paper-white. Mind if I ask why?"

and thats how you floss your ass early in the morning

Kenya is the fucking worst. I don't think I've ever disliked a reality star as much as I do with her. I watched her on the Celebrity Apprentice the other night (don't hate, it was the only thing on TV) and she is absolutely awful.

It makes me sad that the first non stage name that comes up on this list is "Paris Hilton" and that she is considered a Model.

A Model for how not to live your life maybe! (sorry.... I am just in a bad mood about Ted Cruz holding NASAs budget...)