If she ever goes missing, we should look for her in every old ladies' candy dish first.

So... what you're saying is that you're a shitty person?

She's just unhinging her jaw to eat, then replace Brian Williams.

He coasted on his "aristocrats" filthiness for a while but this guy is such an unfunny hack. Commenting on "grandpa getting hit in the nuts" videos is the pinnacle of his career.

People who do the gaping mouth scream-laugh like Whitney Cummings annoy the hell out of me. Totally forced & phony.

one in three of them say they would be willing to "use force to obtain intercourse" as long as nobody would find out and there would be no consequences.

Not all men just a third of them.

I would rob a bank. But I would never be a bank robber.

I just made a pretty big choice about what kind of teaching to major in. I was deciding between two things (both of which I know I will love and be good at, both of which have pros and cons) and I was weighing my options and getting advice and I still couldn't decide so I just kind of picked one at random. It felt…

This is unfathomably horrific.

Glad to see someone is covering this

Ermahgerd... I'm no scientist, but I don't understand how this would work.
It makes your butt look like a Lego piece though.

This really sucks.

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

As in, what you climb to get crabs????

Happy trail is an old one. Maybe so old that it's out of date. Still better than crab ladder. Eewwww.

Happy trail? That's a new one, I've only ever heard it called a crab ladder before now.

If it makes you feel any better, about 5000000 comments so far here, on Twitter and Facebook are "UH BUT THEY SELL GUNS AT WALMART, JEZEBEL." And I don't think weed is their excuse.

Nothing in this world would make me happier than if some media outlet uncovered an old unreleased photo of the Princess Grace-Prince Rainier wedding day that featured her in that glorious gown firing a shotgun out the back of a pickup.