Just don’t let the Saudis know that WWE has a prominent Muslim babyface on the roster...who is also pretty politically progressive. His name is Mustafa Ali. Hopefully WWE doesn’t make him do some horribly racist skit.

Fury: "The check cleared? Alrighty then, fuck Allah!" 

“The group also wants Wilcox fired and a Department of Justice investigation into whether anyone’s civil rights have been violated.”

I will argue until the day that I die that Blazing Saddles is the funniest movie ever made

So far Kelsey, every story of yours I’ve read has been fantastic. Is longform your main style, because you’re great at it.

You can see the moment on Conwall’s face when he realizes that “holy shit, I might’ve just killed a guy”

Iowan here. For my money, the best pizza in the entire state is actually Northern Lights pizza. Based in Ames, with a few satellite locations in gas stations (lol). Their speciality is their Garlic Butter sauce, which is divine! They sell it in a few stores around here now, bless the Lord.

Baker’s white, Russell is black.

BOTH KFC RESTAURANTS IN MY AREA ENDED THEMSELVES

yeah, the good guy with his big gun that probably fires blanks...yeah I’m childish

“Here’s the thing: I’m friends with George Bush,” DeGeneres said. “In fact, I’m friends with a lot of people who don’t share the same beliefs that I have. We’re all different, and I think that we’ve forgotten that that’s okay that we’re all different.”

I’m white as fuck and never even showed up to the initial jury duty day after I received my summons. Think I went to jail? Nope.

considering that the title track from Nickelback’s latest album is all about how much of an evil bastard Trump is, he shouldn’t be surprised they’d copyright claim his ass.

Bolton to me seems just petty enough to turn state’s evidence and spill all the tea in the universe

It’s pretty bad when sending Rick Perry out of the country is seen as a horrible insult. I for one wish Ukraine had kept him forever

someone should have taken him up on his “offer” to volunteer for combat in Iran.

I’m guessing he’d say it as “Asser ban”

I would like to get Rudy hammered, he’d probably sign over his entire fortune to me on a drunken whim

Trump's too fucking stupid to understand that he was being made fun of

I wish George Carlin was alive, because he’d spent three hours ranting about Trump alone