Fuck I am excited for this movie

tl:dr “sorry your husband died horribly, here’s my penis!”

some cobras do actually swim, however they’re not well suited for the desert climate. And no motherfucker is stupid enough to fill a moat with black mambas, the people filling the moat would be dead within minutes. Black mambas are incredibly aggressive/nervous snakes that will strike at anything that moves, and can…

Here’s hoping President Warren passes a law declaring that trolls can be hung by the neck until dead, cause you and Tomato Dick will be first to the gallows, bitch

lucky son of a bitch

cool, let’s bomb them. Fuck Islam, and fuck all religions as well. The world would be much better if we rounded the devout of all religions and incinerated them

let’s round up the Bernie Bros and shoot them with flamethrowers

Oh he knows ALL about Australia. They have a LONG history of racism and ethnic cleansing

I love this motherfucker. His Twitter game is pretty solid too

There’s only room for one non-consensual handjob enthusiast on the Patriots, and the other one owns the team. Brown was always gonna get Jack dick out of this situation 

The best thing Republicans could do is tell him to shut the fuck up and/or resign so they can clean up his mess. What's Rule #1 if you're guilty? Shut the fuck up and let your lawyers do this talking. Except in this case, Trump hired the worst lawyer in America

“Crime isn't crime! What's a crime anyway?"- Rudolph "9/11!" Giuliani

Hamilton has a gimmick. The gimmick is very simple: all the rich people should either be dead or in jail, and then we should take all their shit. Basically, it's a teenager's mindset of "fuck it all, let's break shit." I am all for taxing the shit out of rich people, putting the ones who have committed criminal acts…

i have always wanted an Old West Ghost Rider

that would be.....a fucking great idea

Didn't Coates resign right around the time of this phone call? Makes sense

“if the votes were secret" aka so their lunatic voters won't find out that they betrayed the Don. Fuck em, make the vote public and drown their asses in it

Oh Hamilton, still dreaming of being rich are we?

I call these types of cars “fleas”.

it would remind me of the Jeff Foxworthy skit about having your nipple bitten off by a beaver, only this time around the headline would be “Trump’s Dick Bitten Off By Beaver After It Mistakes Penis For Mushroom”