“Don Jr is my gun expert”

THIS SHITFUCK WAS LITERALLY JUST AT MY TOWN’S LIBRARY A COUPLE DAYS AGO, AND I DIDN’T FIND OUT ABOUT IT UNTIL AFTER THE FACT. I’M PISSED THAT I MISSED THE OPPORTUNITY TO PUNCH STEVE KING IN THE FUCKING FACE

Wait, Mitch does work? I figured he just sat in his office every day, jerking off to camera feeds of the immigrant camps

And Caitlin didn't even mention that a few years ago this fucking lunatic pointed a loaded gun at a car and threatened to FUCKING KILL THE FAMILY INSIDE OF IT

Speaking of football and head coaches, my high school football head coach's sister was named Crystal Meth. True story

fun fact: Tucker’s brother is also named Buckley. And he’s a flaming asshat too.

Are we 100% sure that one or both of the Zach letters isn’t Zac Taylor himself crying out for help after realizing the depths of the mistake he made?

Even worse, it was a RAM

With Spandex reference? Impressive

The Lions are the football equivalent of feline AIDS: incurable, slowly dying but just healthy enough that no one will put the poor thing out of it's misery

Dana White thinks he is a mob enforcer

Robocop is actually a satire, but of course the fact that they're being made fun of would go right over their heads

Killing black and brown people IS their job

It would be "OW! My Balls" come to life. Oh look, another Idiocracy parallel!

What a world where getting traded to the BROWNS is an absolute improvement

Eli "I'm Dead Inside" Manning

Zack:

hilarious that the Mara daughters are both 1000x more talented at their chosen profession than the elders. Maybe this team would turn around if the daughters were running things

I really hope the Rapture is a real thing, so Jeebus will come and take all these nutballs to their "Heaven" and leave the rest of us the fuck alone

I remember a press conference when Bush pointed up at the sky and said something to the effect of “God talks to me”, and he was still smarter then than Trump is now