We knew there would be trouble when Haley said his favorite late night snack was tequila and Ben said that he preferred turnovers.

Apparently you’re both friends with my wife.

It’s no fair that bears are so maul-y, because they look like they’d be super awesome to snuggle with, if they weren’t so prone to making your innards outards.

Yeah, the 85 percent of the country that has no idea what Roy Rogers is or where they’re located.

Wait a second, what’s not to like?

Damn, shoulda’ bought lifehacker stock yesterday!

The Jags now have more Playoff wins in the last decade than the Lions have had during the entire Super Bowl era.
Though my love of the Good Place means I can’t even be angry about this.

The gal I’m stuck watching football with would instead ask what’s on HGTV and why in the hell I hadn’t yet emptied the dishwasher.

The Chiefs are underrated as a team that consistently shits the bed but holy cow can they poop on a mattress with the best of em

You try walking 50 feet after you’ve just eaten 3 fiesta taco bowls and 5 Big Macs.  

Alka-Seltzer usually does the trick!

Jesus Christ, is that photoshopped? I can’t tell anymore.

While PUBG made the game mode popular, I’ve been watching Minecraft Ultra Hardcore games since The Hunger Games movie came out. The genre feels much older to me then last year.

Middle of the Pacific? Probably Fucked. No one really knows!

The Flight Status Map is a critical tool in gauging how Fucked you will be if the plane has an emergency. It tells you where you are and exactly how frigid it is on the other side of that thin aluminum skin.

Jason: I’ll tell you what I want to know right now before we go any further. Did the Jacksonville Jaguars win the Super Bowl last year?
Michael: Oh, you’re serious. No.
Jason: Will they every win the Super Bowl?
Michael: Jason, I can’t predict the future. But no, they won’t.

“FOUND AFTER SWALLOWING 1/2 PACK OF GUM IN ROOM AT HOME, EMPTY WRAPPERS EVERYWHERE”

Was gonna star but it has 45, couldn’t bring myself to do it.

Penis: COAXIAL CABLE

“SWALLOWED A PEN BECAUSE NO ONE PAID ATTENTION TO HIM”