And the clack clack clack of a goalie hitting the ice with his stick to signal the impending end of a penalty is one of the most underrated sports sounds.

5'6", 300 is basically spherical; no wonder the reflexes kicked in

“Subject: You are a dude....Ray Knight fucked my GF”
Jesus, it’s like he didn’t even read your guidelines for submitting an article.

If he’s a real Caruso, he’ll follow this peak performance by quitting the Lakers in order to try out for movie roles.

[Rob Thomas looks at the score]

My first thought upon seeing this news was, “I should text Albert!”

In the AAF, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The players who were suckered into wasting months of their life, and the owners who will somehow cash out and profit on an obvious disaster. These are their stories.

I was in a play space with my toddler a few weeks ago and Baby Shark came on the sound system. It was like the DJ put on a banger at the club. Every kid in there basically did the toddler equivalent of, “This is my jam!”

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

There are two types of people in this world. People who experienced something shitty and feel like everyone else behind them has to to experience the same thing, and people who experience something shitty and work to prevent those behind them them from having the same shitty experience. 

Were these stories true? Does it matter? For Ichiro as for no other player, certain things felt possible.

Slap Contest Official: Guys, its not in the rules anywhere that you have to take your shirts off.

“Sometimes I get it right, other times I can be pretty obtuse.”

Authorities just released a photo of the two guys William H. Macy met with to start this process:

Thank you for this. I got to know Alex a bit better during my original run in 2006 (pictured) and the 2007 ToC. As you noted, he did his job and did it well, but he wasn’t one to hobnob much with the contestants, and that was perfectly fine. The only time we really socialized with him at all was at the on-set…

When Lindsay played, players were at the mercy of a reserve clause that dictated they couldn’t ink a contract with any team but the one they were drafted by, even after their previous contract had expired.

See? Despite being all critical and “The Blue Jays should be trying to win and give their fans something to be excited by” Deadspin never mentions the positive aspects of keeping Guerrero in the minors. For instance, with what they pay Minor Leaguers, he won’t be able to afford three meals a day. 

I’ve never seen my life summed up so perfectly. 

As a local taxpayer, he’s not just an irate stepfather. He’s also an owner.

Wait, hold up. Those Chevy commercials told me they won the JD Power Most Reliable award. You mean to tell me those awards are worthless? What about those normal people and their important opinions?