Of course he made them write it - Kobe never settles for just oral.

Here's a .gif I found on Twitter if his controller was disconnected:

The Reddit-approved alternative is NSFL or "Not Safe for Life" and it seems pretty fucking appropriate right about now.

Pete Dexter...that dude can WRITE, man. I read Brotherly Love straight through twice in a row when that came out.

And yet he's still the most respected owner in team history.