In the peaceful darkness of my Port-a-Potty, I rolled my eyes so hard that I tipped my careful squat off-balance and unfortunately kicked my $10 beer.

Come here. It's hug time.

The absolute horror Sheila and Katharine must have felt, sisters, suddenly plunged into terrors they could have never imagined, unable to protect one another. I just can't.

Beautiful summary, Jia. I think you very aptly describe Hepola’s brand of feminism—a variety that people agree with more and more, which focuses on the agency of women and the rejection of a paternal culture that seeks to insulate women.

Dude. This lady is selling mementos made of breast milk, umbilical cords, and pet “cremains” (ugh.) Has anyone checked her basement for piles of dead bodies lately? I’m not saying she has to be a serial killer. All’s I’m saying is it would be stupid not to check.

The breastmilk mafia is legit scarier than like the actual mob.

I thought the same thing. It’s just a bodily secretion. I don’t dramatically declare that an intimate piece of me has been taken every time the doctor takes a blood sample or a pee sample.

I feel like it’s probably the same kind of people that talk about what a “spiritual” experience parenting is and how they didn’t know what love was until they had kids and make placenta muffins, blah, blah. Which, look, it’s fantastic if you want to have kids, but one thing it doesn’t do is make you special. Literally…

“This intimate piece of me was taken,” said Lorraine Neil, a customer who never received her order. “And it can’t be retrieved again.”

I want earrings from beads made from that cream in my vagina. Make it happen, Mogavero.

Why the fuck would you want your boob juice made into a pendant in the first place??

You mean he’s pro-empowering child laborers to live their best life.

Any place that has their own way of using language, their own unique vocabulary, especially replacing strongly negative words with softer sounding euphemisms, is generally a place to stay away from.

So Lululemon = Scientology - aliens + yoga pants? That’s what I’m taking from this.

I will never forget Lulemon’s founder admitting that he came up with the name because of the difficulty some Asian immigrants have making ‘l’ sounds. With that sort of casual racism baked into the foundation of the company, nothing here is surprising. Of course they don’t give a fuck about people.

The Kenyan sun beat down as B. Hussein Obama knelt. “Inshallah, I shall make you my wife and we will infiltrate America together,” he said.

Is there a more condensed version? I have the attention spa...

This is tangential to the point of the piece, but I was reminded of a little-remarked trend I’ve noticed over the years: that many people who self-identify as liberal (because they sympathize with and want to help the poor, often) start to exhibit conservative-like thinking when you dive into their beliefs. I guess…