My late, proud-of-her-ignorance MIL used to pronounce the word “computer” as “kumpewder” and she’d always lift her chin in my direction as if to say... I dunno what. Trying to prove her point that “kumpewders” weren’t here to stay (yes — she would go on regular rants about how kumpewders were destroying the world).…

LIMA BEANS. Li’l peeps, I stand with you.

Perfect GIF. Thank you.

Thank you for this post, since all I can feel about Mother’s Day is relief that she is no longer around to treat me like her unpaid intern, punching bag, and generally abused dogsbody.

//insert disdainful Lady Bracknell voice:

Yeah, the subtleties of that escape me. I’m quite sure I’m missing out on a happy, fulfilled, countoured life.

I’m always starting comments on here with the proviso “for a low-maintenance makeup girl, I do X....” But I’ve used liner to emphasize the cupid’s bow and to draw a line beneath the lips, because sometimes I miss the lower line and there’s a clown face in the rear-view in the car...

The one thing I did listen to, starting in my 20s, was to save until it hurt. And it did hurt, since I was working for non-profits, publishing companies, and other fun gigs that paid next to nothing. And my parents were seriously anti-smoking, so guess who’s still stuck with the evil habit. Ugh.

Trying to think of one thing my super-controlling parents could have done to prevent my years of partying starting in H.S. and I can’t think of a thing. Even if adult me could sit down with H.S. me and present reasons (including “just the facts, ma’am,” presented without fulminating and drama), I can see H.S. me…

She’s a public figure and with the privilege of being mother of the heirs, it’s part of her job to show up and look good. I’m sure if she wanted, she could be smuggled out of a back entrance and just get on home. But it seems to mean a lot to people that the couple show up with their baby and wave, and I give her a…

Ladylike ecstasy=I can rub one out and you won’t know it.

<—- this is what your vulva looked like, before

17 years younger, here. Rah.

The music came out when Chmn. Meow and I first met. I thought it was just us, but it’s apparently A Thing.

When I take my glasses off, the pixels resolve into Robin Thicke. But I’m going to guess Dave Matthews. Even if he didn’t say it, there are thousands of Hannahs, Briannas, Jacobs and Zacharys running around because of Everyday.

Respectfully, you are NOT spot on.

Two words: unwashed sweatshirts.

I felt that way, too! I was all, “people threw beers at you? I’d have marched out and linked arms with you.” But then I felt sad because I’m white and maybe they would not want me with them at all.

... oh, they’re coming.

Agree that these old ads feature the start of taking advantage of women’s insecurities... but if you’ve ever been stuck in close quarters with someone with B.O., (I have — twice — one was a man) you’d be all down for daintiness, too. My grandmother (b. 1895) said people smelled back in the day. NO THANK YOU.