Musically and visually amazing! Between Didion and Celine yesterday, and this today, I'm all like, Old Age FTW!

The unforgettable pumpkin seed story.

Please assure me that this person is getting lumps of coal next year.

The idea of Holiday Perfection was whaled into me from an early age. I just remember these marathons of cleaning, baking, and cooking and much tension and my mother bursting into tears a lot. Then, typically, my mother, having exhausted both herself and me, would sit with her hands folded in her lap and barely touch…

You just have no. Idea. How much pressure these drivers are under. How they even manage to be pleasant is beyond me. Yes, I've had packages trashed (work-related stuff) and I've seen myself the mayhem inside the trucks. But my sympathy is with the drivers. We were headed to a late dinner tonight and they were…

... just got back from the femelee gathering, 'she' behaved... I think I'm invited in part because there's some tension from a previous cruel thing she said to someone that caused a falling-out and we're thought to be 'good guests' (and we work it) who deflect the tension. She's almost 90, good heavens... it's so…

Oh, I am too — but I didn't used to be. Some people aren't at that place yet where they can calmly (and politely) take someone down verbally (nor is it, again, always the wisest thing to do to your hostess, assuming it's not your hostess doing the trash talking — in my case, it isn't the hostess, it's another family…

Practice this, it works: smile tolerantly and condescendingly, say something bland like "ohhhh" or "hmmm," then POINTEDLY change the subject to something else bland, like "I don't remember those candlesticks last year, are they new?" The key is the smile and bland. It'll make you feel calmer and more in control. …

Still rooting for her and hoping she'll get her shit together, tho' the audio level on all that has been reduced to a weak bleat.

Don't forget he haz the bad taste, too.

Was at a wedding where the bride rode up to the beginning of the aisle on a horse (it was an outdoor ceremony) — successfully, splendidly, and side-saddle, I might add. But then their dog wandered up the flower-strewn grass path during the ceremony, horfed, and ate it up. Loudly.

Vat good... is sitting... alone in your coffin?

The shag! The wood! The orange and brown! The macrame!

All the polyester and bad clothing and music in the 70s... it was a dark time, man.

Actually, "weenie" DID apply to one of my affairlets. I thought it privately during the one-night stand and told him that it was one when he told me 'now' wasn't a good time for a relationship... via email. #SMALLDICKJERK

The internet giveth answers... like this post. I'm sure there's a comparable list for men, somewhere. For instance, "weenie" might be a mood breaker for a lotta guys.

Bravo.

Nice!

You come (heh) up with your OWN terms. As a couple. Code words that nobody else knows.

Did that... they came away nicely but the batter MAJORLY puffed up OVER the pretty little shapes, which then started to crack off when I sugared them. I'm usually not so stupid about kitchen stuff, I'm wondering still why I did this.